Chaman Bhai.. (JOKE)

Ek area mein Bhai rehta hai, Chaman Bhai..

Ab uskey area mein jo bhi koi lafda hota hai to police se pehle Chaman Bhai ki adalat mein jaata hai….

Ek baar Chaman Bhai ke area mein rape ho jata hai, aur jisney game bajayi hoti hai ukso pakad ke Chaman Bhai ke paas leke jatey hain…

Chaman Bhai pehley to bahut shanti se, style mein, us sey baat karta hai… kuch is tarah se…

Chaman : Kya re ? Tere ko maloom nahi yeh apun ka area hai?

Mujrim : Haan maloom hai na bhai.

Chaman : Phir kaisey himmat ki rape karne ki apun ke area mein?

Mujrim : Ab kya boloon bhai, kismat kharab thi.

Chaman : Chal mere ko sub kuch sach sach bata kya aur kaisey hua?

Mujrim : Abhi kya na… Idhar naake pe apun paan khaney ke liye aaya…

Chaman : Phir ?

Murjim : Apun khade hokey paan kharela tha… aur utney mein samney wali building pe apun ki nazar gayi…

Chaman : Aage bol

Mujrim : Udhar teesrey maaley pe ek chikni khadi hui thi

Chaman : Phir kya hua ?

Mujrim : Apun ko aisa laga ke usney ishaara kiya aaney ke liye..

Chaman : Phir tuney kya kiya ?

Mujrim : Apun socha ke kuch kaam hoyenga usko…. to apun builidng ke neeche gaya

Chaman : Phir ?

Mujrim : Usney Isharey se apun ko upar bulaaya… apun seedi chadte yehich sochrela tha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Chal fatafat aagey bol

Mujrim : Apun ne usko jaakey bola…. kya kaam hai.. kaiko ishara kiya apun ko?

Chaman : Phir ?

Mujrim : Phir kya bhai, apun ko usney ghar ke andar kheech liya

Chaman : (Excited) Phir ?

Mujrim : Apun ghar me to chala gaya lekin soch raha tha ki “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Aagey bol

Mujrim : Usney apun ka haath pakad liya

Chaman : Accha… Phir?

Mujrim : Sachchi bolta hai bhai haath pakadtey hi apun phir socha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Phir kya hua ?

Mujrim : Phir kya tha… Usney bola chikney meri pyaas bujha de

Chaman : Phir tu kya bola (Getting Excited) ?

Mujrim : Apun kya bolta, usne a! pna duppata neechey gira diya

Chaman : To phir kya hua ?

Mujrim : Apun ke dimag ki dahi ho gaya, kya mommey (boobs) they saali ke…lekin bhai phir bhi apun socha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Phir tuney kya kiya ?

Mujrim : Apun bola ek-do kiss karega aur chala jayega….. zyada boli to body kaam karenga lekin engine nahi kholney ka…. Aakhir, “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Toh phir ?

Mujrim : Usney apun ko kheech liya…. sacchi bolta hai bhai aisi katil jawaani apun akkhi life me nahi dekha.

Chaman : Haan, woh to hai…. Tu aage bol (Starts to heat up)

Mujrim : Phir kya tha…. apun ne kiss kiya, mommey (boobs) bhi dabaya…. lekin imaan se bolta hai, soch raha tha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Aagey bol ?

Mujrim : Phir usney apni kameez utar di

Chaman : Phir ?

Mujrim : Phir salwar, lekin apun ke dil me ekich khayal aa raha tha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Aagey aagey ?

Mujrim : phir blouse aur chaddi saali ne sab utar di

Chaman : sahi mein?

Mujrim : phir meri pant keech li

Chaman : Accha ?

Mujrim : meri underwear mein haath dal diya

Chaman : oh !!

Mujrim : chaddi utar di meri, lekin apun phir bhi socha “Chaman Bhai k! a area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : (Getting frustrated)..

Mujrim : Phir woh haath phiraaney lagi

Chaman : (Half Boiling)

Mujrim : phir mooh ghumaaney lagi….. phir bhi apun yehi soch raha tha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman: (About to blast) Aagey… aagey bol saley….

Mujrim: Chumney Chatney lagi bhaaaaiiii…..lekin bhai kasam se……main yehi soch raha tha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman: Abey teri to…. Chaman Bhai Gaya Maa Chudaney….. tu aage bol !

Mujrim : Yehich…… yehich – apun ne bhi yehi socha bhai…..aur game baja dala.!!!

Funny Hindi Sms

1-Husband suhagrat pe: main sadi se pehle 20 aurto ke sath s*x kar chuka hoon.

Wife sharmate hoye: Aap wahi ho na jisne 500 ka fake note diya tha.

2-delievery k baad bache ki muthi band thi.

doctor ne muthi kholi to usme i-pill thi aur hath pe likha tha

''JAKO RAKHE SAIYA MAR SAKE NA KOI''

3-Don’t Trust Your Heart..

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Because Its Not On The Right Side..;-)

4-Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo NE Peeta.

Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?

Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.

Santa: Phir?

Banta: Phir kya, Salon NE ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !

5-Aurate 3 prakaar ki hoti hain..

Ek jiske bina aap reh nahi sakte,

Dusari jo aapke bina reh nahi sakti

&

Tisri jiske saath aap rehate ho. :)

6-1st friend- yaar tu office mein to sher bana rahta hai par tuzhe ghar mein kya ho jata hai?

2nd friend- ghar mein bhi sher hi hun yaar bas durga-maata sawar ho jati hai

7-ek hasina ko dekh kar arz kiya hai

" teri smile mein kya gazab ki chamak hai".

vo muskura k boli

"ARE PAGAL MERE TOOTH PASTE MEIN NAMAK HAI"

8-Beautiful Lines from Shakespeare:

close ur eyes n think about ur lovable persons nd spent moment with them. then watch your lips will automatically get smile....!!!!!!!!!

9-Lalu: Vidwaano ne kaha hai Ki "MURKH KI BIWI BAHUT SUNDAR HOTI HAI.

Rabadi: "Dhat! Aapke paas to hamaar taarif k alawa kauno kaam nahi hai!..

10-Girl- kya tum mere ashiq ho?

Boy- han hun.

Girl- to phir mujhe 1000 ka-easy re-charge bhej do.

Boy- main tumhara ashiq hun VODAFONE walo ka DAMAAD nahi.

Funny Hindi sms

1-shadi me 1 sardar ne plate pe tissue paper dekh kek socha shyad ye bhi khane wali cheez hai.... jaise hi wo khane laga ,,,,,4-5 sardar jor se bole "NA KHA OYE EK DUM FEEKA HAI"

2-The Truth about Human Tongue:- It Takes 3 yrs to Learn how to use it. But, It takes Lifetime to Learn When & where to use it..!

3-agar kissi moti ladki ko dekhkar seeti bajao aur wo palatkar vaapas aa jaye to isse kya kanenge??????? GOL MAAL RETURNS.....

4-Biwi(gusse me): tumhare dimag me sirf gobar bhara he. Husband(pyaar se): toh itni der se kyu kha rhi ho....????

5-Ladka- Ghire hue badlo me teri yad ati h, Saawan k ane me teri yad ati h, Baris ki bundo me teri yad ati h, Ladki- Haan haan muje yad hai teri Chatri deni hai...

6- Saali is Beauty, Wife is duy, Saali is passion, Wife is tension, Saali is patakha, Wife is sayapa, Saali is cool, Wife is fool, Saali is tuty-fruity, Wife is qismat futi, Saali is fresh cake, Wife is earth quake

7-husband and wife fighting infront of their child. wife to husbnd: "tu saala kutta" husband to wife: "tu saali kutti" child: "hee hee...mai saala pilla"

8- What is the meaning of "PYAR" P = Pagal ho jana Y = yadon main kho jana A = Ansouon main beh jana R = Roj ka rona dhona

9- wife- janu, kash ap msg hote, mai apko save karti, jab chahe padhati. husband- kanjus, save hi karke rakhti ya apni kisi saheli ko forward bhi karti?!!

10- Rok Do Mera Janaja Mujhme Ab Jaan Aa Gai Hai, Rok Do Mera Janaja Mujhme Ab Jaan Aa Gai Hai, Janaja Pichhe Lo Salo, Dekhte Nahi Daru Ki Dukan Aa Gai Hai"......

Funny Sms ,Love Quotes And Shayaris

1-A 10 yr old boy went 2 an ice-cream shop & asked: How much a cone costs? Waiter said: 'Rs.15' The boy started counting how much he had in his purse. Then, he asked: How much a small cup cost? Waiter said: 'Rs.12' The boy asked for a small cup. He had it, paid bill & left. When the waiter came to pick the empty plate, he was touched. The boy had left ' Rs.3 ' coins as tip for him MORAL : ' Try making everyone happy with something you have . . . :-)

2-“Interesting Confusions” 1. Can u cry under water? 2. Do fish ever get thirsty? 3. Why don’t birds fall out of trees when they sleep? 4. What do u call a male lady bird? 5. Why is it called building when it’s already built? 6. When they say dog food is new & improved in taste, who tastes it? 7. If money doesn’t grow on trees then why banks have branches? 8. Why does a round pizza come in sqaure box? 9.Why doesn’t glue, stick to its bottle;-)..!!

3--1 Admi Apni biwi se bola- RAJA DASHRATH ki 3 raniya thi Is hisab se mai 2 aur shadiya kar sakta hu Bivi boli- Bas itna yad rakhna ki DROPDI ke 5 pati the.

4-Arz Kiya Hai, Sunday K Din Aap Jhakaas Nazar Aate ho. Wah Wah..... Sunday K din aap Jhakas Nazar aate ho. Or aaye b Kyon na, Sirf Isi din to aap nahate ho.

5--Commitment doesn’t mean sticking to a person when you don’t have any option, it means keeping a relation with someone even though you ve lots of options.

6--Dad: What is Ur Result? Son: I Failed. Dad: Dont Call me Dad Onwards. Son: Dad, Its not the Result of DNA Test.

7--Man asked a fallen rose. Don't u get hurt when u r plucked? Rose replied. No, I'm the reason 4 someone's Smile.....

8--Maa ki dua khali nahi jati, uski baddua talli nahi jati, Bartan maanj kar bhi Maa 3-4 Bachhe paal leti he, lekin 3-4 beto se 1 Maa nahi paali jati.

9--Sath Dene Ka Bada Vada Kiya Tha, Sikwa Sehne Ka Vada Kiya Tha, Agar Wo Hume Bhulakar Khush Hai To Koi Gham Nahin Kyunki Humne To Unko Khush Rakhne Ka Wada Kiya Tha.

10--Akbar ne Birbal ko kuch aisa likhane ko kaha Jise khusi me padho to gham ho or agar gham me padho to khusi ho .......... Birbal ne likha: "YE WAQT GUZAR JAYEGA..."

11--wakeel: my lord kanoon ki kitaab ke page number 15 ke mutabiq mere muakkal ko ba izzat-bari kia jaye. JUDGE: kitaab paish ki jaye judge ny page khola to uss mei 5000, 5000 k 2 note thay. JUDGE: is tarah k 2 saboot aur pesh kiye jayein.

12--A great scholar once said: "The real problem doesn't starts when a boy looking at girl,it begins when she turns back & gives a smile.

Funny Sms ,Love Quotes And Shayaris

1-Girl sitting on a park bench. Funny Begger: Hi Darling...! She angrily: How dare u call me as darling....? Begger: Then wat r u doing on my bed.........

2-Excellent Thought : "No One Can Ever Fail In True Love.. We Just Fail To Choose The True Person,

3-The two dangerous weapons in the world other than nuclear bombs. a) A girl's smile & b) A girl's tear.

4-Every Heart Has A Pain! Only The Way Of Expression iS Different, Some Hide it in Eyes while Some Hide in Their Smile..

5-Jab barish hoti hai, Tum yaad aate ho. Jab kali ghata chaye, Tum yaad ate ho, Jab bheegte hain tum yaad aate ho, Bataoo Meri umbrella Kab wapis kro ge!

6-Q - College me ladkiyon ke kitne naam hote hain??????? Ans- 4, - - - - - 1. Meri Waali, 2. Teri Waali, 3. Meri Bhabhi, 4. Teri Bhabhi...!!!!

7-Problem may come from "HAYWARDS 2000 OR 5000" But u must take it as a "ROYAL CHALLENGE" Otherwise people will call u an "OLD MONK" & Stick a "BLACK LABEL" on u, But u must fight like a "NEPOLEAN" & live like a "BAGPIPER", work till "8 PM" & Think like a "DIRECTORS'S SPECIAL" Then u'r life will be like "IMPERIAL BLUE" with a perfection of "KINGFISHER" & there will be good value for u'r "SIGNATURE". cheers! Happy nite, Full tight!

8-Doctor: Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai ? Patient: Doctor saheb.. Pahle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai. Doctor: dawai khali thi kya ? Patient : Nahi doctor saheb. Dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi. Doctor: Arey... mere kahne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya. Patient: Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur Maine le li thi. Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya ? Patient: Oho, nahi doctor saheb dawai to laal thi. Doctor: Abe GADHE, Dawai KO piliya tha kya ? Patient : Nahi. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha. Doctor: Abe Teri to, Dawai KO muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nahi ? Patient: Nahi doctor saheb. Doctor: Kyon ? Patient: Kyonki dhakkan band tha. Doctor: Teri to sale, to Khola kyon nahi. Patient: Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna. Doctor: Tera ilaaz main nahi kar sakta ! Patient: Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga Doctor : Abe teri ....

9-"Har pal ki khushi hamare sath me hai, Khushi ki koi lkeer hamare hat me hai, Dur reh kar bhi aap ko yaad karte hai, Jaroor koi pyari se bat aap me hai........

10-Santa and Banta went into a pub and after ordering two drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started eating them. "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner. Then both exchanged their sandwiches !!!